Read the atmosphere
by carrotgirlhatty
Summary: EDITED/REUPLOADED Its England's turn to host the world meeting. But America's lack of being able to read the atmosphere may put England in awkward situations and his dignity, friendships and his chance to impress Liechtenstein on the line. EnglandxLiechtenstein NOT USUK. Rated T for England's language and whatever random stuff I come up with as the story goes on.
1. How it all started

**Author's note: Hi guys (if anyone reads this) I hope you enjoy my fan fiction.**  
**This is my first story so I might do somthing stupid when I upload and stuff so please bear with me.**  
**I uploaded this before but it seriously needed editing so I deleated it but its back up again now so its okay.**  
**So yeah I hope you like my story.**  
**DISCLAIMER: I dont own Hetalia.**

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England took a deep breath.  
He was an expert at deep breathing.  
Everyone who knew America was an expert at deep breathing.  
"You know America", the older nation said calmly as he sipped tea whilst looking across the small room which was his study.  
"The reason the host nation books a hotel for all the attending countries is not out of good will BUT SO WE DONT HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THE ANNOYING ONES FOR MORE TIME THAN NECESSARY!"  
America put on a childish pout and folded his arms.  
"But Eeeeeenglaaaaaaaaaaaaand" he whined in a kiddy like manner "I wanted to see my favorite mentor".  
England knew that America was just trying to pull his heart strings to let him stay, "well I might as well humor him" the brit muttered under the breath of his latest sigh.  
"Yes America I missed you too" England said much to the delight of the American.  
"Come to think about it why are you not at the hotel greeting everyone yet?" America asked innocently before pausing, his eyes narrowed and his smile turned into a mischivous grin.  
"Of course it would seem more sense to stop at the airport on the way to the hotel as the airports closest".  
England felt his face turn red.  
"America...shut up".  
"And of course", the younger country continued, "We dont want anyone such as France or Germany talking to you too long or stopping you from getting to the airport on time for when the plane from Switzerland lands..."  
"America...I'm warning you".  
"And of course we wouldnt want to miss the chance to greet our dear buddy Switzerland and help carry their cases to the car to impress Lie-".  
England had just punched America in the stomache.  
America grinned, "ooooooooh I've hit a nerve".  
"Shut it" grumbled the british man, "I am NOT in love with Liechtenstein".  
"But dosnt you diary say-".  
"MOVING ON" England interuppted, "I think its high time you take part in some sports whilst your in the UK and lose weight".  
"Why?"  
"Oh I don't know...MABYE THE FACT YOUR DIET IS PURELY OF HAMBURGERS!"  
"But is okay I never get bored of them."  
England put his head in his hands. When did he go wrong in raising this idiot?  
"Look, Poland told me he would be late due to matters in his country. he should still be there so ring him and tell him to bring one of his ponies over for you to borrow".  
"But England we use cows to make burgers not horses".  
"I ment for horse back riding you git! Why the bloody hell would I use a horse to make one of your bloody burgers?"  
"I dunno, sounds tasty though hey if I start eating hamburgers AND horse burgers you won't be able to yell at me for having a diet purely of hamburgers!  
See? Problem solved now I don't have to do exersise! The hero saves the day again ".  
"America...just ring him".  
America sighed and took out his phone before dialing Poland's number.

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**So thats the first chapter done (yay!).**  
**I think I will upload chapters every week so I guess thats every monday but I might do it more often or on a diffrent day or when I get bored.**  
**The next chapter will be based on somthing that happened to me once which I thourght would be funny so look forward to it!**  
**So read the other chapters when they come out, review and stuff if you want and bye.**


	2. Chaos on the phone

**Author's note: Hi guys!**  
**Okay so heres the next chapter.**  
**It's based on something that happened to me and also I had to rewrite this on my backup account T.T.**  
**But I really like this chapter so I don't mind it was a fun one to think up and write XD.**  
**So without further ado enjoy the randomness which is my story XD.**

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Poland took a long time to pick up the phone.  
"Hes probbally having a mini rave to his ring tone" thought America as he tried to hold back the singgers he caught imagining Poland rocking out to Barbie girl.  
Poland eventually picked up the phone.  
"Um, like, hello?"  
England, who had forced America to put his phone on speaker, noticed that Poland had a big change in his voice today which was normally upbeat and loud but today was a sad wisper.  
America didn't notice.  
"YO POLAND DUDE" America was screaming down the phone like it would give him all the hamburgers in the world if he broke it with his sound waves.  
"Oh, America ,like, hey..." came the reply "I'm kindda busy right now so what do you want?"  
England frowned. "Strange" he thought "Poland is usually loud and annoying but today hes acting like someone died!"  
Then it hit him.  
England dropped his tea cup.  
"Shit!" He said as Earl Grey tea and fine china invaded his carpet, "I fogot! Oh god what have I dragged Poland into?"  
England could only watch and listen to whatever time bomb America was setting over the phone.  
"So dude" said America "I was wondering if you could bring your pony over to the UK with you. England wants me to lose weight and do horse back riding."  
"Let me guess" came the reply "England gave you a long and well deserved speech about your unhealthy diet and that you should lose weight?"  
"Yep" said the "hero" "and we talked about making hamburgers out of horse meat."  
"DON'T TELL HIM THAT YOU BLOODY IDIOT!" Yelled the brit who knew that that sentance alone would send Poland over to the UK just to murder America and ,more importantly, him!  
"So what do you say dude?" asked America, completly ignoring Enaland.  
"Well I would..." Said Poland "But Pony croaked this morning."  
"PAHAHAHAHAHA GOOD ONE DUDE!" Laughed the hamburger addicted "hero" "everyone knows ponies say eeeeeeeeeeeeeee oooooooooor."  
"Thats a donkey you twat" said England "And he means that his pony is puhing up the dasies."  
"Oh you mean like gardening? But animals can't garden and besides you don't push up dasies you plant them!"  
And thats when England lost it.  
"HE MEANS HIS PONY DIED THIS MORNING YOU GIT! THEIR DEAD!"  
"Woops" said America "sorry Poland, dude, although I guess your pony turning into a gardening frog would be quite silly."  
"Yeah..." said the pink loving nation "I guess so..."  
"Could you do me a favor though?" Asked America.  
"What?"  
"Could you bring it over any way? I'm pretty curious about what a horse burger would taste like."  
"America" England said through gritted teeth "Give. Me. The. Fucking. Phone. Right. Now. Or. Else."  
"Well JEEZE England" America argued back "whoever died and left you incharge?"  
And of course he fogot he was still on the phone to a moarning nation.  
It took poor England three hours to calm the hysterical Poland down.  
When the exhausted englishman finally put down the phone he turned to America and similed.  
"So your not mad at me?" asked America.  
"No I'm not angry at you" said England.  
America relaxed at this, unfortunatly only America (and Italy, of course) wouldn't have been able to pick up the sarcasm which laced the british gentleman's voice...  
Or the fact that England's smile looked extremly like Russia's...

* * *

**Ooooooooooooooooooh looks like someones in trouble next week XD.**  
**To be honest I'm pretty lucky I got this chapter up on time since there was a bunch of times when I wasn't sure if to publish it or not and then I had to rewrite t all.**  
**But it's a very fun chapter to write.**  
**So yeah reveiw and stuff and hopefully I'll upload the next chapter next week.**  
**Bye! :)**


	3. Punishment

**Author's note: Hey guys!**  
**This chapters gonna be a bit of a filler so...enjoy?**  
**Oh and I'm about changing the chapter's names...make the story look more proffesional...mabye get a cover?**  
**I need to replace chapter 2 since the one I posted wasa last minute copy up since I couldn't upload the orignal then so...**  
**Enjoy!**

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"Awwwwwwwww why do I have to write lines?" Moaned America "Thats soooooo boring."  
"Because" said England "you made Poland feel even more upset than he was when he awnsered the phone."  
"Poland was upset?"  
England face palmed for the millionth time that day.  
"Didn't I tell you a thousand times already to read the atmosphere?"  
"Dude I'm trying but we haven't found the book yet."  
"Thats the stupidest thing I've ever heard and, wait, what do you mean we?"  
"Oh, Italy was asked to read the atmosphere too, we've checked out a ton of bookstores but haven't found nothing yet."  
"It's we haven't found anything yet you git" England sighed "and bookstores? Your elevators doesn't go up to the top floor."  
"But I don't own an evelvator" said America "but it's okay we both went to buy one each strait after looking for the atmosphere."  
England opened his mouth to speak, then thought better.  
"I'll explain it to him and Italy tomorrow" he muttered to himself "I'll ask Germany to help."  
"So what's my punishment?" asked America.  
"I told you it's to write fifty sentances on what you won't do whilst your at the meeting in my country"  
"Why?"  
"BECAUSE YOU UPSET POLAND YOU MUPPET!" Roared the brit "he went over to the stables this morning to paint his horse's hooves (who even DOES that?) and found it dead and it made him sad and YOU made it worse."  
America grinned, he loved annoying England.  
"Gee..." he said "Poland was upset? I didn't know!"

England dragged the uncontious American up to the desk and plonked him in the chair.  
If you took away the big bump on America's head where England had hit him you would think he was sleeping peacefully.  
England leaned over so his mouth was an inch from America's ear and took a deep breath.  
"WAKE UP YOU BLOODY GIT!"  
America woke up with a jolt...and fell off his chair in shock.  
England mutterd a naughty word under his breath.  
"Right" he said "fifty lines, chop, chop."  
"AWWWWWWWWWW but I don't wanna" wailed America "can we go out to one of those pub places pleeeeeeeeeeease? I'll be good I promise."  
England looked at America's failed attempt at puppy eyes.  
"Fine" he said.  
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"  
"After you do ten lines AND your buying the first round."  
"Awwwwwwww..."

* * *

**Hehe sorry it's not that good this week DON'T KILL ME!**  
**The next chapter will be short...and involves a certain drunk englishman...**  
**Review and stuff please! (Do people even read my story? Cause if not why am I talking to the readers? :L)**  
**Bye bye~**


	4. Lists, drinks and drunken karaoke

**Okay, I know this story is pretty sucky and most people are like: "update I promise to save you" blah blah blah but this is the first fanfiction I've ever done so I guess I feel like I have to finish it since there's only really 2 chapters left to do after this. Also, I felt like I needed a break from all of the rescue, brain-washy stuff for a while cause I was writing a bit of "I promise to save you if you want me to or not" before I started writing this.**

**Okay, another thing I guess I have to say is that I didn't update this in like, a year as I got distracted by other projects and also, I got slightly scared of this story since the first couple of chapters of this story have jokes about horse burgers in and as most of you are probably aware there has been an inccident in my country (England) ealier this year where horse meat was found in burgers.**

**Finally, I was reading through this story a few weeks ago and actually giggled at it and this chapter was already started so I wanted to finish it and had fun doing so.**

**Translations for the list will be included at the bottom of this chapter.**

**I don't own Hetalia, Death note, One Direction, Spongebob, The Inbetweeners or anything else mentioned.**

**ENJOY!**

* * *

England read the crumpled sheet of paper that America had handed him as they sat at the bar.  
The note was titled: 68 THINGS AMERICA MUST NOT DO WHILST IN THE UK. (England raised the number when he realised that there was defiantly more than 10 things which America was very likely to do to mess up his repetition.)

* * *

1. I must not deliberately get England and Russia drunk just because I am bored.  
2. Last time I did because I wanted to see a bar fight did not go as planned.  
3. England was limping for three days afterwards and Belarus was standing outside my house with a harpoon for three months before Russia finally sent Lithuania over to remove her.  
4. I must not mention the horse meat scandal around Poland unless I want a repeat of the phone conversation.  
5. Which I obviously don't and I am not just writing that because England is looking over my shoulder right now.  
6. I must not suddenly sing the F.U.N song from Spongbob just because I can.  
7. Even if Italy joins in.  
8. Or Poland.  
9. Or Prussia.  
10. But if Russia joins in then just smile and keep singing unless I want to suffer death by pipe.  
11. Which I DON'T!  
12. Calling Russia King-Com...mie is not allowed.  
13. Well it is but England won't come and save me.  
14. I'm not allowed to bring up the subject of who drives on the right side of the road as it will just end in an argument.  
15. Just because I am fully aware about what the curls do does not mean I can try and see if it's the same with England's eyebrows.  
16. Even if France pays me to do it.  
17. Locking England and France in a room together after touching England's eye brows is actually a really bad idea so I wasn't going to do it anyway so I don't see why England is insisting that I write it down.  
18. Although it would be pretty bad if the eyebrows did have the same effect as the curls.  
19. Perhaps it could be twice as bad since there's two of them?  
20. I'm starting to see why England wanted me to write this one down now...  
21. But if the eyebrows don't work then England could just beat up France and kick the door down.  
22. But then he would come after me!  
23. I can not call England "Iggy."  
24. This rule also applies for "dude."  
25. Calling France a frog is fine though and greatly encouraged.  
26. Bringing up the armada around Spain is also fine and both England and the Netherlands will treat me to hamburgers for every time I do.  
27. I can not re create the Boston tea party to annoy England.  
28. I cannot have a Texas tea party neither.  
29. Or an Alabama tea party.  
30. Or a Florida tea party.  
31. Actually, I am not allowed at have a tea party named after one of my states what so ever.  
32. Or one named after a place in France even if France is okay with that.  
33. Actually scrap that, I can't have a tea party at all.  
34. Singing "dude look like a lady" around China is not allowed if we want the conference building to be still standing by the end of the meeting.  
35. Which apparently we do.  
36. Beside's, making fun of China's appearance is not funny.  
37. Even if Korea joins in.  
38. I cannot try and taint Liechtenstein as it is pretty much classed as suicide to many nations.  
39. And nobody want's to be killed in the hands of Switzerland or England.  
40. Trying to taint Italy is fine.  
41. It is pretty much impossible but it's still fine.  
42. Just don't do it in front of Germany or Romano.  
43. I cannot mention how I made my own version of the Inbetweeners around England.  
44. Despite mine being better.  
45. I can't mention that around England neither.  
46. Asking Ukraine if they are "real or fake" will just lead to instant death.  
47. Playing video games under the table with Japan is not allowed.  
48. Cosplaying as Light from Death note with Japan Cosplaying as L is not allowed.  
49. Even if Poland cosplays as Misa.  
50. Spiking Lichtenstein's drink with Vodka and getting her drunk is forbidden.  
51. Funny, but still forbidden.  
52. Canada is not my clone so I must not use him for when I anger Cuba.  
53. Cuba and Canada are good friends meaning Cuba will just beat me up twice as much if I do.  
54. Wait, who is Canada anyway?  
55. Bringing a large ginger cat into the world meeting and calling it a lion will just get me a black eye curtsy of England.  
56. Besides, most countries don't really bother paying attention to the news going on in his country or will have forgotten about it since it was last year.  
57. Or they might just be too dumb to get the joke.  
58. Saying the number "69" every time someone asks me a question, whatever it is, will just get Germany angry.  
59. Besides, only me, Prussia, Denmark, France and Spain actually find it funny.  
60. Nations such as Italy and Liechtenstein and Sealand will then get confused and I will have to explain.  
61. Which will just cause me to get either shot or punched in the face.  
62. I cannot search for the atmosphere with Italy.  
63. I cannot drive a monster truck into the wall of the meeting room. 64. I must not come to the meeting dressed as super man.  
65. Or Batman.  
66. Or Spider man.  
67. Or Wonder woman.  
68. Actually, if possible, don't show up to the meeting at all.

* * *

America scowled as England nodded, showing approval to the list.  
"Dude, this is totally un cool. What am I actually going to do during meetings?"  
"Work like the rest of us," England replied, only to cause America to double over in hysterics. Nobody had ever worked in a world meeting since 1982 and that was just to calculate how much money everyone had to chip in to order pizza!  
England face palmed as America ordered the drinks.  
"One beer for me and on coke for my friend!" England froze.  
"WHAT?" America shrugged.  
"Calm down dude, it's legal for me to drink in your country, remember?" England glared at him.  
"Not that you twat! Why the bloody hell did you order me a bloody coke?" America sighed.  
"Because you d get wasted if I ordered you alcohol and I d have to drag you home."  
"What?" Spluttered the Brit. "I would never!"  
"Um... No offence dude but you are kind of a light wait!"  
"No I am not."  
"Yeah you are!" America argued back. Trying not to smile at how pissed off the British nation was getting.  
"I do not get drunk that easily you idiot!"  
"Whoever says idiot is the idiot~" America chuckled. "Besides, I thought you had stopped drinking!"  
"Yeah... Five months ago..."  
"Then why are you starting again then?" The American raised an eyebrow. England looked at him like he was the stupidest person in the world.  
"Guess. Just guess."  
"Erm... Your girl friend dumped you?"  
England was extremely tempted to bang his head on the bar counter but somehow managed to resist.  
"What the-? I don't even have a girl friend! Bloody wanker!"  
America smirked.  
"Oh yeah. Sorry, dude! I forgot that having caterpillars glued to your face isn't very popular with the ladies!"  
"THEY'RE FUCKING EYEBROWS!" England yelled. Everyone else in the bar turned to stare at him, causing him to wish that he could just sink through the floor.  
Grumbling, he got out his wallet and pulled out a five pound note before turning to the gawking bartender.  
"Make it a rum and coke."

* * *

A couple of hours later...

* * *

"WHY DID YOU LEAVE MEH?" A completely wasted England cried as he lunged himself at America who was just barely able to jump out of the way, causing the Brit to face plant into a near by bar stool.  
"Dude? I think it's time you went home."  
"SHUT UP!I DON'T WANNA!" Came the response. America sighed and pushed his glasses up his nose.  
"Iggy, I really think that you should go home."  
"I WANNA STAY HERE WITH THE UNICORN!" The Englishman announced, now cuddling the stool.  
"England...there is no unicorn."  
"DON'T SPEAK LIKE THAT TO MY FIANCE!" The American looked at him blankly.  
"... You're engaged to the bar stool..." He said slowly, trying to take in what his friend had just said.  
"IT'S A FUCKING UNICORN!"  
"Right..." Alfred rolled his eyes. "But don't you like Lilli?"  
Arthur dropped the stool.  
"Lilli..." He burst into tears and wailed. Loudly.  
"Will you please shut up?" A man from the other side of the room yelled.  
"NEVAH!"  
"Excuse me sir? If you don't calm down then I will have to ask you to leave." The Bartender butted in. However, England was on the floor, blubbering on about Liechtenstein.  
"LILLI, WHY DON'T YOU LOVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?" He cried. America awkwardly patted Artie's shoulder in an attempt to comfort the Brit.  
"Wow, man... You must really feel for her." England looked at him.  
"WELL DUH! HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW? STUPID AMERICA!"  
He ran through the bar towards the Karaoke machine.  
"I WILL SHOW YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE HER!" He screamed. "I WILL SHOW YOU ALL!" He pressed a few buttons and the first notes of "You don't know you're beautiful" By One Direction pumped through the speakers.  
"THIS IS FOR YOU, LILLI!" He yelled before attempting to sing along, terribly.  
America watched as the older nation tried to support himself on stage without falling over.  
At this point any person with even a scrap of common sense would have apologized to the poor people at the bar who were now having their ear drums ripped apart before dragging England off the stage and escorting him home.  
But not America.  
Instead, without tearing his gaze away from England, he got his phone out of his pocket and clicked on the video recorder...

* * *

**Ah... Writing this brings back so many memories of when I just started writing Fanfiction and was terribly crap! Nothings changed! XD (just kidding...I think?)**

**Anyway, translations for the list:**

**Number 4: I've already explained this but on a related note, people went into Tesco (the supermarket where the horse burgers where found in the first place) dressed as horses during the time it was all over the news, which was pretty funny.**

**Number 43: The Inbetweeners is a popular show in England which now has it's own version in America. I personally prefer the British version though.**

**Numbers 55-57: There was this thing that happened in England last year (I think it was last year) where someone called the police saying that they had had seen a lion. It turns out it was just a big cat (as in a pet cat) called "Teddy Bear." (Seriously I am not making this up! Apparently there was a massive police search with helicopters and armed officers and everything!)**

**Number 58: If you don't get what the 69 means then you don't wanna know. Seriously, my friends once explained it to me and I really wished that they haven't now.**

**I think that's really everything I need to explain so I will not make you read this attempt at humor any longer.**

**BYE BYE FOR NOW!**

**Oh and**

**NEXT TIME (If I have enough willpower or I'm bored enough to continue trying to finish this story): The world meeting begins and America thinks his newly required footage of England is too good to keep to himself!**


End file.
